Sunday, June 21, 2015

The Journey

I have been meaning to write about this for a long time... I want to get it out before I forget!

So, here's how the story goes...

Andrew and I have been hoping for kids for a while now. In 2013, we decided to go off of birth-control. I remember that in October 2012 we had talked about dropping it in January, but January came really fast, and I wasn't sure if we were ready yet, so we waited until my next appointment with my OBGYN which took place in May of 2013. 

I was working at Pollywog's daycare at this time and I loved my job. I dreamt of what it would be like to have kids of our own running around. We went off of the pill, but I was having a few physical issues with my kidneys and gallbladder, and the hormone change from dropping the pill had a bad reaction with my body. I was tired and sick, and I have dealt with depression before, but it seemed to hit super hard with the changes I was going through that summer.

The next few months were a roller-coaster of emotions. We weren't specifically 'trying' to conceive, but we also weren't doing anything to prevent it, either. I thought it was odd that we had gone so long without seeing any signs of pregnancy, and I began experiencing pains in my lower abdomen, as well as irregular menstruation, which was odd because I had always worked like clockwork before.

It was about January of 2014 when I actually began tracking my cycles and we started talking with specialists about infertility. Andrew and I began throwing around the idea that we might be searching for alternative solutions to starting our own little family. 

In April, we went and picked up a little puppy for some company and to add a little energy into our life. Infertility is hard. We were just trying to take it day-by-day, but Ruger really helped to lighten things up for us, and I am so grateful for that dog!

The rest of 2014 was a whirlwind. We had so many changes in our family, with Andrew switching careers and starting up his own business, and us moving closer to his shop. It kept us busy and the change was welcome. I started helping him out with book balancing and the numbers side of the business... Andrew's work started slowing down in the winter, though, and I realized mid-December that I was starting to slip back into that depression that I had been fighting.
There are so many emotions, and it's hard to tell my story without writing a novel about it. Each day is different, and it's difficult to express the journey, especially to someone who hasn't experienced it for themselves. The most interesting thing to me about our story is that it got better, then it got bad... before it got really good...

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