Monday, June 22, 2015

The Journey, Part III

So, January and February came, and things started looking up. Andrew and I began looking at our future with new eyes... practicing the idea of planning with a different family dynamic than we had originally dreamed up. It was just figuring out how I could either cope with, or kick the depression to the curb. I was reading scriptures and all sorts of books in an attempt to lift my spirits, but nothing seemed to be working. Life was interesting... each day would come and go, but I don't really remember living it... we had some good moments, but it seemed like life was moving on, and I was just there. Floating. I had no idea who I was and I felt like I couldn't identify myself. This was hard for a 24 year old kid... it seems like my generation is ALL about labeling and uniqueness... about pointing out what we share, and what sets us apart from others... and I just felt like a nobody. That was hard. 

Finally, in March, my mom came up to visit with my brother and his wife and daughter. About two days before they arrived, I got this crazy feeling that I should go home with them. Then, Andrew would come pick me up a few weeks later. My mom was getting married and it was a perfect excuse for me... I could go home and help her pack her things and move her to her new home. It scared the daylights out of me, too, though, because Andrew and I had never been apart for more than a couple of nights and this would be a 2.5 week separation for us. I cried when we left Bigfork and Andrew and Ruger stayed behind, but I felt wholeheartedly that this was the right thing for me to do.

I spent my time in Idaho going through old memories with my mom's belongings. We got rid of some things, and relived some good times. It was very therapeutic for me. I also spent time in the temple, and worked on some personal energy work. The week that my mom had come to visit, I had passed a kidney stone, which I thought was odd because it had been almost two years since the last time that had happened. Then I passed three more my first couple of weeks in Idaho. I also began experiencing what I thought were gallbladder attacks. I was frustrated and felt like I had taken about 10 steps backwards with my health. The 'gallbladder attacks' started getting worse though. I knew that something just wasn't right and I needed some outside opinions. I was 400+ miles away from my doctor, though. What ended up happening was we weren't really sure how to explain my symptoms, and there was concern that I was having a reaction to protein... In essence, my body was going into toxicity from an over abundance of protein, and this can cause major problems to the liver, gallbladder and kidneys. I didn't get tested, though, and made the decision to change my diet for a few days to see if that helped at all. I learned about how our blood type can determine what type of foods work best for our body systems, and basically cut out breads and meats, dairy and eggs for a while. I felt WAY better, but there was still unexplainable queasiness/nausea that I couldn't seem to get to go away....

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